As a professional proofreader I’m constantly finding grammatical and spelling mistakes made by writers of books and magazines; after all, that’s what I’m paid for. Some of these errors are hilarious and are worth sharing.
A rich source of these kind of typos are church magazines! The following examples (with all the bloopers) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’ The sermon tonight:
‘Searching for Jesus.’
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Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone
who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
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Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again’, giving obvious
pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery
downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help
they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So
ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will
follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several
new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person
you want remembered.
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The Church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and
gracious hostility.
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Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be
seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from
the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend
him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM . Please use the
back door.
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the church
basement Friday at 7 PM . The congregation is invited to attend this
tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please
use the large double doors at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the Church’s new campaign slogan last
Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours!’
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